I went blind from the pleasant smiles of songsters,
I went deaf from a non-stopping clap,
I’m worn-out from the musical monsters —
Each of them chews the same fatuous crap!
Sifted through my long-suffering body,
Pure sound flew straight into your ears.
Stop! at last there’s a guy who’s not shoddy,
It’s for him I was tortured for years.
I heard hundreds of deep sighs about the moon,
I heard hundreds of light descants out of tune,
One big-shot would play the saw — I nearly died,
Yet I carried out my duty — amplified.
In the lower keys, his voice is hollow,
In the upper, it’s sharp as a knife.
But he’ll show his distinction as a songster,
And I’ll also show something of mine.
Now he’s singing, he took off the coat,
He’s perspiring, he’s truly all wet,
And I stretch out my microphone throat
To his face gotten golden from sweat.
I heard hundreds of deep sighs about the moon,
I heard hundreds of light descants out of tune,
One big-shot would play the saw — I nearly died,
Yet I carried out my duty — amplified.
But his song has become very candied...
Man, recover! ye’re wasting your chance!
Ye must be more courageous, more candid!
People, tell him to shut up at once!
He continues with this goddamned litter,
And I’m tottering, I nearly fall.
But this syrup, emetic and bitter,
He still pours into my tired soul.
I heard hundreds of deep sighs about the moon,
I heard hundreds of light descants out of tune,
One big-shot would play the saw — I nearly died,
Yet I carried out my duty — amplified.
You may blame me for being too patient,
But one’s nature one cannot disguise.
Amplifying is my occupation,
So I suffered, but amplified lies.
Then I groaned, and the loudspeakers hollered,
But he twisted my neck, and I quaked.
They unscrewed me — I was deftly knocked off,
And replaced with some lousy old fake.
This new mike will accept all with patience,
With the false notes he’ll meekly comply —
Thus they always replace with replacements
Those who’re able to impede them to lie.
We were covered up, several hours after,
In our old dusty traveling case,
And the other mike told me with laughter,
“He was happy that ye’d been replaced.”
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